Hach no, oh no, I think I can not anymore. Neeneeenee. I do not know. I can not and does not want. Not so. No longer with me. Neeeneeenee. No! I can not hear it anymore. I do not want that! I can have all the happy times. I'm totally down with the nerves. Real ready. Neeneenee. I will be all too much. I think, because what has to happen now.
I do not know about you: But I think I've got a warning allergy. I can not anymore. When I hear that word. Now even Prince Charles! It was still missing! He came to Germany, to warn. Before the change, and it has also received a prize. Neeneenee. That keeps you in the head but no longer.
Constantly we are warned, you feel like a mad dog barked constantly. The dog may just not his door. It is disturbing the peace. I get headaches! I need urgent help. I'm all jittery!
Wherever one goes: All the time you will be warned before global warming, climate change, the global collapse of the financial crisis, the banking crisis, inflation, deflation, terrorism, Islamism, the neo-Nazis, the avian flu, swine flu the what-do-I disease, the Icksüpsilon virus.
I'm deaf, perhaps? Am I deaf? I'm stupid maybe?
Everywhere warning lights are placed. The flashing yellow or orange in the least, but usually in red. Plinplin plinplin ... ... plinplin. I've been chronically watery eyes, watery eyes right. Everywhere you get with these warning lights and warning lights geplinkt in the eye!
Schäuble - minister of the kingdom, the warning alarm warning and ministry. And all its subordinate departments. The kingdom of warning alarm Financial Ministry, the Ministry of health alert warning kingdom, the kingdom of warning alarm environment ministry, the kingdom of warning alarm Work Ministry, the Reich Ministry of warning traffic alert, well, you know ...
At every available opportunity possible or impossible is now warned. Any public situation is exploited shamelessly and "warning" and "alarm" is issued! I can not! It's no longer!
Radio, newspapers, television, award ceremonies, public speeches, inaugurations, multiculturalism, street, district, gay, lesbian, habitat, sports, children's, family reunions, parties, unions, associations, birthday parties, football games, hunting trips , class reunions, funerals - all is now warned. Although it is too late for the funeral really - but that is interested in the professional and Warner alarm recogniti not, you go further and warn it even corpses. I can not!
The worst is when the kingdom of warning and alarm warning Reich Ministry and its Minister Schäuble warned against the insecurity of the population. Are you crazy? Is it to hold still? I can not help giggling hysterically only. It's as if the devil's grandmother before the brush fire warning, Santa warns of the rod, the Christ child from the many gifts warns of Spring warns of the pollen and the Erotomane the young women for the moral decay warning: The offender warning - and is camouflaged so well!
I pack it any longer, anyway. I'm totally down with the nerves. Last night I lay awake in bed again. Too much warning and alert all day. When counting sheep I was suddenly a brilliant idea:
I've got it! I know what how we can stop global warming. For all those Warner and heat alarm recogniti not only their own minds, but always warm even with warning and alarm the atmosphere. Apart from the mindless consumption by continuously flashing yellow, orange and red warning lights.
So, every village, every community, every neighborhood and every city to provide public warning and alarm vats. Every time has once again made a politician, a prince or some other busybodies with warning and alarm important, he must in the vat - to cool down. Because the tub is filled with fresh ice cubes. Since then the company must be professional or amateur Warner and alarm recogniti space and perform a Tauchsitzbad, until his body temperature and his heated emotions are cooled down again to 37 ° Celsius, climate-friendly. After that he may be, fresh cooled emerge from the tub again and gets the appropriate community, I installed a cool, fresh beer: Ahhhhhhh, that's good. Let's see if we are not so this warning and alarm problem sir!
But that's not enough, because warning alarms and costs nothing. It's so damn cheap. And that must change. It must be really expensive. I see it now, as if by the inspiration of my yesterday's sleepless sleepless night, filled to the community, city and capital funds: the warning and alarms is now really expensive: Each detector and alarm recogniti that wanders warn just once so cheap and wants to alarms, it will feel in his wallet and to his credit - when he, most important, first No explanation is given and no clean evidence for his warning and alarm and 2 yields if he offers no solution, if point should be met first
Because we can warn us truly own my old alarm clock This can already: The morning always warns me about to oversleep. Since I do not need a kingdom of warnings and alarms for the Ministry.
The warning and alarm fee is graduated according to the asset and income levels of the Warners and Alarmers: An amateur Warner and alarm recogniti who wanted to be just once important, is not warned by a fine not less than 1000 €.
A professional and alarm recogniti Warner, for example, elected officials are asked to fund € 10,000.
Representatives of the Kingdom Warning and Emergency departments should expect to be called to account for 50% each from their personal assets and the other half from federal assets. They meet point 1 and not 2, then the payment of 100,000 € paid - directly into the city treasury of each municipality forewarned or damaged.
With representatives of the World warning and alarm Organization (WHO) is analogous procedure: If they comply with points 1 and 2 do not, they will immediately abgebußt. It is a payment of € 1 million each for half of their personal assets and financial fund from the WHO. Payment will be made depending on the topic of unmasked as pointless warning to an appropriate charity or organization exploring the truth.
So go on pointless warnings about the swine flu forced donation to a charitable organization for the Liberation of pigs and to promote the vegetarian idea.
When senseless warnings about global warming an earmarked donation goes to the German Physical Society, to explore the sunspot activity continues.
In a senseless warning and alarm against bird flu a donation goes to the Association for the Abolition of battery cages chickens, and another on the What-is-a-virus association.
In a senseless warning and alarm against terrorism, a donation goes to the International Foundation for Research and analysis of intelligence activities and other victims of war in Iraq, Palestine and Afghanistan.
Analog to pull the trigger must be the German Reich Warning and Emergency Department with an unwarranted warning against neo-Nazism, a hefty donation to a foundation to explore and better control of domestic intelligence activities.
Prince Charles had so due to his warning and alarm over climate change have already cede the Foundation for Organic Farming € 100,000. Well, consider that's not for us both? Supposedly Charles biogärtnert really like. Instead herumzuwarnen cheap, he should prefer butter with the fish!
Yes, what can a sleepless night, do not bring anything! I can see how the city and municipal coffers fill incessantly. The fresh flow of money will last months. Jippi, I have discovered a veritable gold mine. Yes, as the economic crisis is reversed in an unexpected boost: they will in the coming weeks and months, like a flash flood warning and alarm incurred fees of the initial funding for an incredible investment! Can you see it already happening? Ahhhhhh, that feels good!
As long as the coin is not in the municipality's coffers sounds like Warner does not jump out of the tub!
That's it. We have a crisis now back in control! But now I must go quickly say goodbye: Does the refrigerator - ice pick!
Tags: alarmism , Prince Charles , Schäuble , swine flu
Grand love, Frederica! The most striking satire that I've read in a long time. When the Titanic or the Eulenspiegel Redakteuere be green with envy. Super! Keep it up!
[...] I just want to point to the recent article by my colleague here at Friederike Beck the Zeitgeist blogs and exceptionally quiet awe otherwise [...]
FINALLY!! Finally someone speaks to me from the soul. I can bear this no longer Ries insurance asses!!